family and friends

The word family is a word that , I think, is interpreted differently in my country of birth than in my son's home-country, the Unites States .
I remember from the time we were living in New Zealand, over there too, family was more "the spouse and the children; while when you asked a dutch-man about his family he would look at you with this questionmark in his eyes ? Family? You mean...? And most likely he would than start talking about his mum and dad and how many brothers and sister he had . Maybe he would even go on about uncles and aunts., cousins, nieces, nephews, the lot!
In France, where I lived for a couple of years, it is like in the U.S. When they ask you about "votre famille"- they like to know whether and/or how many children you have got.

Friends"" again is one of those words everybody has their own idea about.
What exactly makes a friend a friend. And if not a friend, is he then an "" acquaintance", one step more down on the "ladder"?
I read somewhere that a friend is almost like a husband or a wife. You can say (almost) anything you like, without feeling too inhibited, too embarrassed. You can let you tears flow, your anger come out and you know he/she is there for you, and vice-versa- they can rely on you.

And then of course there is "acquired family", or if you prefer: extended family. With that I mean brothers and sisters in law, parents in law.
Last weekend I paid a visit to my sister in law whom I hadn't seen
for a couple of years. The reason why? Silly arguments about "silly things"in the eyes of the one, "major"in the eyes of the other.
In spite of that I always tried to keep in touch, as stubborn as it may seem. And slowly, the ice started to melt again, and I received a fairly long letter a little while ago.

So when I was on the cemetery, where my husband lies buried- next to his mum- I all of a sudden decided last weekend to pay a visit to this extended-family member, who happens to live in the adjacent village.
After her first surprise she opened the door, we talked for almost 2 hours, and it felt good.

I must admit that I would not have done this, if it wasn't for a very good personal friend who suggested , after I had explained him about this family argument, "why didn't I simply go and see if she was at home, and have a cup of coffee with her"?
And so I did!

Friends and family. Does this explain my "subject"?

Dag,dag,
the horse-rider